We are the Church. The Pastor or other similar individual is just a facilitator. If the facilitator is abusive, then you have the right/duty to speak up or walk out. BTW, Catholics have a new Pope. Welcome Leo XIV!
That was a heavy last sentence about yourself. None of us can see into the future…how could you have known this man would fall off the path? So I believe it is not your fault. You saw what he said years ago and perhaps thought ‘Oh good because :‘the harvest is white and the workers are few’. I stand by you. It is a sad story. The Church ministry is a familiar place being married to a pastor. God challenges ministers to remember: God’s number one concern is our relationship with Him, no matter who we are or what our ministry …then our ministry. Ministers are held to a higher standard but they are JUST people. Forgiveness, communication and reconciliation are KEY as you correctly eluded to. Thank you for tackling a tough subject. Thank you for being who you are today.
Thanks, Sara. It’s not just that I laid hands on him, but I led in the same system for 16 years, and I know many people were hurt by my immaturity. I know God forgives me and makes me wiser, but today he has me low and grieving/repenting. Tomorrow I’ll move on.
I find it deeply saddening when church leaders hide abuse behind spiritual-sounding platitudes or distorted interpretations of Scripture. I’ve heard it too often—the tired accusation that truth-tellers are just “gossiping” or “causing division.” But when it is truth, it’s not gossip. It’s courage.
Far too many scandals have been buried for far too long, and the damage hasn’t just been to individuals—it’s stained the witness of the Church as a whole. Each cover-up only adds fuel to the fire of cynicism and distrust.
And your raw honesty at the end really hit home. I can look back on moments when I’ve supported or championed people who later proved to be harmful in some way. It’s easy to spiral into regret—“I should’ve known…”—but grace teaches us to grow, not to wallow.
I’m learning, slowly, that I’m as beautifully flawed as anyone else—and by God’s mercy, I can keep learning to discern better, love better, and lead better next time.
"If you don't want to be judged, stay out of ministry." So true. It is not easy to be in vocational ministry. Those of us called to this are blessed with a mission with an expectation of being held to a higher standard. It is then our duty to live up to it; if we fail, we are to be held accountable.
We are the Church. The Pastor or other similar individual is just a facilitator. If the facilitator is abusive, then you have the right/duty to speak up or walk out. BTW, Catholics have a new Pope. Welcome Leo XIV!
Coach Bro,
That was a heavy last sentence about yourself. None of us can see into the future…how could you have known this man would fall off the path? So I believe it is not your fault. You saw what he said years ago and perhaps thought ‘Oh good because :‘the harvest is white and the workers are few’. I stand by you. It is a sad story. The Church ministry is a familiar place being married to a pastor. God challenges ministers to remember: God’s number one concern is our relationship with Him, no matter who we are or what our ministry …then our ministry. Ministers are held to a higher standard but they are JUST people. Forgiveness, communication and reconciliation are KEY as you correctly eluded to. Thank you for tackling a tough subject. Thank you for being who you are today.
Thanks, Sara. It’s not just that I laid hands on him, but I led in the same system for 16 years, and I know many people were hurt by my immaturity. I know God forgives me and makes me wiser, but today he has me low and grieving/repenting. Tomorrow I’ll move on.
I find it deeply saddening when church leaders hide abuse behind spiritual-sounding platitudes or distorted interpretations of Scripture. I’ve heard it too often—the tired accusation that truth-tellers are just “gossiping” or “causing division.” But when it is truth, it’s not gossip. It’s courage.
Far too many scandals have been buried for far too long, and the damage hasn’t just been to individuals—it’s stained the witness of the Church as a whole. Each cover-up only adds fuel to the fire of cynicism and distrust.
And your raw honesty at the end really hit home. I can look back on moments when I’ve supported or championed people who later proved to be harmful in some way. It’s easy to spiral into regret—“I should’ve known…”—but grace teaches us to grow, not to wallow.
I’m learning, slowly, that I’m as beautifully flawed as anyone else—and by God’s mercy, I can keep learning to discern better, love better, and lead better next time.
"If you don't want to be judged, stay out of ministry." So true. It is not easy to be in vocational ministry. Those of us called to this are blessed with a mission with an expectation of being held to a higher standard. It is then our duty to live up to it; if we fail, we are to be held accountable.